Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I hate it when people make me feel this way.
I really do.
All I feel is doubt.
Noone gets it. Noone gets me.
But I don't blame anyone. I'm just tooooo Haziqah-ish to be figured out.
And i don't want anyone to try.
I'm just so exhausted, yknow.
All this sadness and hurt and disappointment is wearing me thin.
I'm so tired of convincing myself that I am indeed loved.
I'm so tired of trying to prove to you that I'm not always bad.
I'm so tired of feeling like I'm never good enough.
And I'm so tired of trying to be good enough for you.
I tell myself to keep quiet.
Not to say the wrong things. To mind my own business.
But it never works. That's just me. I can't help myself.
And I'm so tired of feeling guilty that I'm being me.
Whoever's reading,please, don't tell me to cheer up.
Or that this feeling will pass. Or it'll be better. 'Cause i know it won't.
I've been through these same feelings for quite some time now.
It has always been there.
& when i say it out loud; when i tell people about it, they just judge me.
So, I kept it inside. & now, its spilling out and idk what to do about it.
& I don't wanna talk about it, I don't want people to say anything.
But at the same time, i don't want to keep it in me. I don't want to pretend.
I don't want company but I don't want to be all alone.
So in conclusion, i don't know what the hell i want.
& if I'm cranky or moody, i hope you won't get mad at me.
I have enough haters in this world.
& 9:35 PM
Prince& his 1000 sexy sheeps