Sunday, April 29, 2012
This game in which I have no experience whatsoever, is one of the most challenging shit in my life. I don't know what am I to do to win.
And sometimes I feel like: -
There's an ugly, dirty, smelly Hobo and then there's me.
They need one person to be a model on the Fashion Runway.
And the organizer cannot choose between me and said Hobo.
Its like wtf. Am I really that hopeless?
That you cannot seem to decide between someone who is so obviously unavailable and me?
So maybe it's truly the matters of the heart. Then okay, maybe you like her more.
Then tell me. Tell me so I am aware.
So I can tell myself to fuck off and let you two be screwed-uply happy together.
Don't make it seem like I have a chance simply because you need a back-up plan.
Simply because you happen to be her back-up plan!
And if you don't like her more. Then tell me too. So I can keep fighting. Keep trying.
Have this tiny reassurance that can keep me strong whenever I get a visit from Miss Jealousy. But you can't do that for me too!
So, how is that fair for me, you tell me la.
Yknow, days when I'm with you, I'm so happy. I'm having the time of my life.
Feeling all these giddy-ing, girly butterflies, emotions and shit.
But there's this tiny voice of reasoning at the back of my mind that is constantly reminding me:- "I'm sure he has done this with her before."
That's all it takes. One line. And BAM. I'm being pulled back to the harsh reality.
I don't mind waiting. But I do mind competing.
All my life, I have to compete with my cousins and my sisters.
"Yaya is smarter. Finaz is prettier. Tanish is sweeter and nicer." I fucking hate it.
For once in my life, I want to feel like I'm not somebody's second choice.
You feel torn between two girls?
Well, same here.
I'm torn between the side of me that likes you so much and the side of me that just wants to punch your fucking face.
& 2:47 PM
Prince& his 1000 sexy sheeps