HAZIQAH!

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Who I am hates who I am.

Its not easy to have a mind that absolutely hates your very being.

When you make a mistake, it never lets you rest. It replays over and over and over until you're sick to your stomach. And when this mistake affects someone else, and this person is hurt and takes a jab at you for your shortcomings, you have 2 people cursing at you.

And that quiet helpless side of you is just there. So guilty. So tired. So stressed out. Back then, I told myself I'll never let someone control my life, my emotions. But here I am again. I'm not strong enough for this. I lay here, watch your last seen change and wait for you to come back. I lay here, restless and helpless and can do nothing but let my tears roll down my cheeks. Falling sleep seems impossible. So I continue laying here, just waiting. Nothing I do work. My whole world stops. And I just wait. When I finally get the luxury of sleep, it's short naps. And I wake crying and repeating the routine.

I'm so tired. I don't get a break after a long rough week at work. I understand your anger. So this is my punishment. I have to just endure. This too shall pass.

& 3:47 PM
Prince& his 1000 sexy sheeps